1. Safety and Stabilization
For many survivors, the first and most essential step in trauma recovery is establishing a sense of safety. Trauma destabilizes our world, shattering feelings of trust, security, and control. Without safety, healing cannot begin.

In this phase, the focus is on creating an environment—both internal and external—where the survivor can feel grounded. This might involve developing coping strategies to manage overwhelming emotions or establishing physical and emotional boundaries that were violated during the trauma. Therapies such as Somatic therapy, Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR), or Internal Family Systems (IFS) can help regulate the nervous system and manage the flood of emotions that arise.

Survivors may need to reclaim power over their own bodies, emotions, and choices. It’s about learning to breathe again, to feel connected to the present, and to regain a sense of personal control. Only once safety is re-established can deeper healing work begin.

‍

2. Remembrance and Mourning
In this second phase, survivors are invited to gently revisit the traumatic experiences that have shaped them. This phase is not about reliving the trauma but about finding ways to narrate the story in a way that integrates it into their sense of self. It can involve both grieving the losses that resulted from the trauma and making meaning of what has been endured.

For many, this phase is the most difficult, as it requires facing painful memories that have often been repressed or avoided for self-protection. Herman emphasizes that this phase must be done slowly, with care, and ideally in the presence of a compassionate witness—a therapist, friend, or community that can hold the survivor's story without judgment or impatience.

Mourning is essential to healing because trauma often involves profound loss: the loss of safety, trust, innocence, or relationships. This phase allows space for the grief to emerge, for the survivor to acknowledge the weight of what has been lost, and for the beginning of letting go.

‍

3. Reconnection and Integration
After remembrance and mourning, comes the phase of reconnection. This final phase in Herman’s model involves re-establishing connections—to the self, to others, and to the world at large. For many survivors, trauma causes deep disconnection: from their bodies, their emotions, and the people around them.

In this phase, survivors begin to re-imagine a life that is not entirely defined by trauma. They explore new possibilities for relationships, creativity, and personal growth. Reconnection also involves building a new sense of identity—one that includes the trauma but is not solely defined by it.

Healing is not about forgetting the past but about finding a way to live with it, integrating it into one’s life narrative in a way that allows for growth and transformation. This phase is where survivors can begin to reclaim joy, intimacy, and a sense of purpose.

‍

‍

Trauma Healing as a Lifelong Journey
While Herman’s model provides a useful framework, it’s important to acknowledge that trauma healing is not linear. Survivors may revisit these phases multiple times throughout their lives. Safety, remembrance, and reconnection are not steps to be checked off a list but cyclical processes that ebb and flow as life unfolds.

Trauma recovery is also deeply personal. Everyone’s journey is unique, shaped by their experiences, identities, and the support systems around them. As a queer trauma therapist, I see firsthand how intersecting identities—such as race, gender, and sexuality—can shape the way trauma is experienced and healed. Healing spaces must be adaptive, inclusive, and culturally aware.

Judith Herman’s work reminds us that trauma does not have to define a life. Through careful attention to safety, intentional reflection on the past, and a commitment to rebuilding connections, survivors can find their way back to themselves, discovering new strength, hope, and possibility along the way.

‍