info@queerjoytherapy.com
114 Maitland Street, Toronto
info@queerjoytherapy.com
114 Maitland Street, Toronto
“I thought I had to hustle my way into safety. Instead, I burned out trying to prove I deserved to exist.” As a queer therapist, trauma survivor, and person living in diaspora, I know how tempting it is to believe that survival depends on overworking, overperforming, and overgiving. Early in my private practice journey, I believed visibility was survival. I said yes to everything. I lowered my rates. I offered free labor. I tried to be the "perfect" professional—hoping it would somehow protect me from queerphobia, agism and racism. But behind the scenes? I was exhausted. Dissociated. Spiritually depleted.
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Writer's information:
Yijia is a proud Queer Asian therapist, based in Tkaronto (colonially known as Toronto)
We often talk about systemic oppression in terms of laws and policies—but we don’t talk enough about how it lives inside our bodies.
Fascism and oppression don’t only restrict rights—they regulate our nervous systems. They teach queer, trans, and BIPOC people:
“Work harder. Be quieter. Conform. Or disappear.”
We internalize the belief that being ourselves is not enough.
That we must perform. Prove. Hustle.
Just to earn love, safety, or belonging.
That’s how white supremacy, patriarchy, and capitalism shape our nervous systems—turning fight/flight into a lifestyle, until burnout becomes normalized.
But over time, I’ve learned something radically healing:
Rest is not weakness.
Joy is not frivolous.
Softness is not a distraction.
Just like Tricia Hersey teaches us in The Nap Ministry:
Rest is resistance.
And so is joy.
So is tenderness.
When queer and trans folks allow ourselves to rest, to feel good in our bodies, to slow down—we are disrupting systems that were never built for our thriving. We’re not just healing ourselves. We are reclaiming our right to exist fully.
Queer joy is a sacred, embodied refusal.
It is saying: "I will not disappear."
It is claiming pleasure as a birthright.
It is allowing laughter, softness, and creativity to bloom in the face of systems that try to erase us.
So this Pride season, I’m not just celebrating resilience.
I’m celebrating joy. Rest. Slowness.
And the radical act of living with intention.
To my fellow queer professionals, therapists, creatives, and organizers:
Your joy isn’t a distraction from the work.
It is the work.
We are still here. We are not going anywhere.
And that is revolutionary.
Written by Yijia Shao, RP (He/They)
Trauma-Informed Queer Therapist | Somatic & EMDR Therapy | Based in Toronto
Looking for support to unlearn burnout and reconnect with your body’s wisdom?
Book an appointment here: https://queerjoytherapy.janeapp.com/#staff_member/1
